


The Woods are Lovely, Dark and Deep

by sad_panda



Series: And Miles to go Before I Sleep [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Anxiety, Blood, Depression, F/M, Gore, Identity Reveal, Possible Character Death, Self-Harm, Suicidal Tendencies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 13:22:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7619695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sad_panda/pseuds/sad_panda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He stepped lightly onto the ladder and braced himself...</p><p>For anything but this.</p><p>Definitely not the girl laying on the floor in front of him, with the kwami trying stop the flow of the red that wasn’t supposed to be there. </p><p>Definitely not his one and only lady.</p><p>Definitely not Marinette.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Woods are Lovely, Dark and Deep

**Author's Note:**

> So umm....Hello!
> 
> First work in this fandom, and also the first one I've actually posted online, so...yeah.
> 
> WARNINGS:  
> Do not read if you are sensitive to any of the following topics:  
> Blood  
> Self-Harm  
> Self-Hate  
> Blood  
> Cutting  
> Swearing
> 
> Also please do not read if you are an innocent cinnamon bun, k?
> 
> Disclaimer: I am not encouraging in any way for you to cut, self-harm, kill, or any other likeness with this work of fiction. Also, I am just fine, I've just been listening and reading waaaayyy too much depressing stuff so I needed to get it out of the way
> 
> ....ONE last thing! This is not beta read or anything, so please excuse the grammar and spelling mistakes. If I notice it, I'll fix it, but I'm probably not gonna go and fix every single little error... 
> 
> (==

Paris was quiet.

Well, as quiet as the city could be.

Civilians bustled about, doing their daily business. Shopkeepers sold. Customers bought. Students got out of school for the day, while teachers stayed after-hours completing their paperwork.

Paris was quiet.

 

At least, until a little black butterfly fluttered down towards a sobbing young woman.

 

*****

 

“Marinette! Hurry up or you'll be late for patrol again!” Tikki whisper-shouted as the pig-tailed girl hurried down the sidewalk towards the closest empty alleyway. Marinette nodded as she quickened her pace.

 

They had just rounded the corner when the screams began.

 

*****

 

Adrien had just gotten out basketball practice when he heard the screaming. He broke into a jog; racing down the sidewalk towards the alley next to the school.

 

He turned the corner when **-BAM**! He felt himself falling.

 

“Ow! Hey! Oh, A-adrien! A-are y-you ok-kay?” Adrien looked at his classmate in surprise as he stood up slowly. He looked at Marinette as he offered his hand to her, which she accepted after a moment's hesitation.

 

“Yeah, uh, hey Marinette. I'm sorry about that. I wasn't watching where I was going and I heard the screams and, well, you know...”

 

She nodded hurriedly in understanding, knowing that many civilians had taken to running for shelter the moment they heard screaming.

 

“Y-yeah, of c-course! I'll just leave now... I'm s-so s-sorry about this. G-good luck!”

 

He nodded as the exhausted-looking girl ran out. “Stay safe!” He called, but she was already gone.

 

Before he could think about the encounter anymore, he heard another scream, slightly louder than before, and remembered what he was supposed to be doing.

 

“Plagg! Claws out!”

 

*****

 

Marinette flew across the rooftops, zipping her yo-yo around objects that looked strong enough to support her weight. When she arrived she found Chat Noir waiting for his lady.

 

“Ah, hello there, Buginette! Glad you could join the _purr_ -ty!”

 

Ladybug ignored him and examined the akuma. After analyzing it for a second, she and Chat got to work.

 

*****

 

“Bye-bye, petit papillon!” Ladybug waved away the butterfly with a half-hearted smile.

Chat, having used Cataclysm several minutes earlier, had to leave before his timer went off.

This left Ladybug several minutes to answer all the questions the reporters wanted to ask.

 

She hoped she would be able to stay in character the whole time.

 

*****

 

Chat felt like a jerk when he left early.

 

The entire time they'd fought the akuma Ladybug had seemed off.

 

‘ _Actually, it hasn't just been today_.’ Adrien thought to himself as flung onto his bed as Plagg munched his camembert loudly next to him.

_‘She's seemed down lately. She doesn't react to my puns or flirting as much...’_

 

“I'll have to ask her what's wrong next time I see her.” He said to himself quietly.

 

*****

 

Marinette flopped onto her bed with a sigh. Why did she have to be so stupid? She nearly killed Adrien this afternoon, barely captured the akuma, and probably said at least three embarrassing things to the reporters after the attack. ( _What an idiot_ )

 

Not to mention what happened at school today. She came in late after sleeping in again ( _Lazy_ ).

When she finally did make it into the classroom she tripped on her own feet again, ( _Clumsy_ ) and was given detention for disrupting the class. Again. ( _Wreck_ ) And then what Chloe had said... ( _Freak_ )

 

Sighing, she let Tikki stay asleep as she left her loft and trudged towards the sink.

She needed to calm down. She needed to get rid of her stress in the only way that worked.

 

She knew it was only a short-term answer, and the more she did it the worse it would become. But it was fine with her. She knew what she was. ( _Weak_ )

 

Marinette felt around the back of her mirror for the piece of tape holding the razor.

 

It was just a simple, small thing. The kind you would find in the cheap, blue, shaving razors from almost any convenience store. This one was slightly dull now, with a red tint on the edges that were probably just dried blood.

 

She lifted up her shirt, revealing her scared stomach. Line after line crisscrossed her skin in a way that you would think a wild animal had attacked her flesh with deadly claws.

 

But Marinette just sighed at the scabs and scars covering her. There was still no room left.

 

She let her shirt fall down over the marks. She shrugged off her blazer and stared at her shoulders and upper arms. They were also covered in scars and scabs. Her gaze trailed down to her forearms, where the wild claw-like marks slowly disappeared.

 

She had just placed the tip of the razor on her forearm when she noticed a little, black butterfly flutter towards her. Marinette didn't even blink as the akuma descended to the little blade in her hand.

 

“My name is Hawkmoth and your name is-”

 

“‘-The Marionette’. ‘Little-No-Luck’. ‘RazorGirl’. ‘Sharpshooter’. ‘Miss Fortune’.”

Marinette interrupted with a mutter. “Yeah. I know. Just leave me alone, Hawkmoth. I’ve heard all of the names you’ve come up with for an akumatized me.”

 

“well, this time-”

 

“-what is it? You’ve already tried ‘Fashion Master’, ‘Bad Luck’, ‘Bloody Mari’, ‘Marikuma’, ‘Ghost Queen’...Need I go on? Get out of here already.”

 

Marinette sighed as the butterfly left the razor with no more fuss. That was good. She didn’t know if she could’ve lasted much more against the supervillain...But why was that?

 

The dark-haired girl looked down at her blank arms with a new feeling of fury.

 

Why?

 

Because she was weak. (The sting of the first _cut_ as it bit into her skin helped only a little)

She was selfish. ( _cut_ )

She had caused almost as many akumas as Chloe. ( _cut_ )

She was stupid. ( _cut_ )

 

Why?

 

Because she was an idiot. ( _cut_ )

She was a walking disaster. (cut)

...was a freak. ( _cut)_

.. monster. ( _slash_ )

 

Why?

Because she couldn’t properly protect the city. ( _slash_ )

And she definitely couldn’t do that if she kept cutting herself like a ( _slash)_ fucking ( _slash_ ) moran. ( _slash_ )

 

Oh, and how upset her parents would be when if they found out about this. ( _slash_ )

 

And her friends! ( _slash_ )

 

Alya...( _slash_ )

 

Or Adrien? ( _slash_ )

 

...but Tikki... ( _slash_ )

  


She didn’t deserve them. ( _slash_ )

 

Any of them. ( _slash_ )

 

Especially not the job of being one of Paris’ saviours! ( _slash_ )

 

_Especially not Cha-_

 

Marinette looked down at her arm.

 

_‘...no. no.nonononononoshit...’_

 

The thing she was looking at almost didn’t look like her arm.

 

Blood steadily dripped into the sink.

 

She felt cold.

 

 

She quickly placed her hand on at the base of her harm and hoped to stem the flow, but she needed help.

 

 

‘ _No....not yet....it was supposedtohelpthis-isn’t-helpinghowisthishelpingshitnonotyetnotyet...’_

 

 

“...Tikki?”  Marinette called out softly, but it was more of a  mewling  sound  than  actual  words.

 

 

Silence.

 

 

Marinette could feel herself growing faint.

 

 

‘ _Come on Marinette, think!’_

 

She breathed in and out slowly as she tried to clear her head; if there was a time she shouldn’t panic, now was it. She glanced around her room as she tried to look for a way to fix the problem at hand. Her eyes settled on her phone charging on her desk.

 She stumbled over and picked it up with her open hand, smearing blood all over it.

 

Marinette's breathing picked up as she felt her arm began to go numb. The phone tumbled from her loosened grip and onto the floor.

 

“...Tikki..?” she tried again, hoping the kwami would wake up soon, but her voice nearly came out as a whimper. “...Tikki, wake up!...Help! Tikki?... **Tikki**!”

 

Finally, she heard a small murmur come from the small creature.

 

“...'arinette? What's going...Marinette? Marinette! What happened? Marinette! You need to stay awake! Hey! Listen! Stay awake okay?....Just stay awake! Marinette!...”

 

*****

 

Adrien’s sleep was interrupted just two hours after it had began. He felt small claws scratch his arms and chest in ways that did not feel pleasant.

 

“Plaaagg, you sourpuss, go back to sleep. Your Camembert can wait until morning....”

 

And yet, the scratching and clawing continued.

 

“Adrien! Wake up! She's in danger!”

 

That got the models attention. “What?...Is Ladybug in danger?”

 

Plagg ignored his question while continuing to try and rise the boy from his bed.

 

“Just...We need to go! Now! Ugh...Tikki is going to owe me a whole cheese store for this...”

 

*****

 

A transformation later, Chat was swinging through Paris towards the Dupain-Chengs bakery. Anyone watching would just assume that the hero was just on another one of his patrols, but that was definitely not the case here.

 

‘ _I just wish Plagg would have explained to me what was going on...’_ He thought as he nearly crash-landed on the balcony, hoping that the Dupain-Chengs had still decided to go on their-vacation was it?-like they had planned. But what would Ladybug need with the empty bakery? Standing, Chat brushed the dust off from his mostly-graceful landing. He looked around slowly, before heading towards the trapdoor. He was about to try and open it when it budged up a couple inches, as though someone was trying to push it.

 

Acting on instinct, he quickly grabbed the door and threw it up the rest of the way, with a small pink _thing_ flying out at speeds that would have been hilarious if it wasn’t crying.

 

Okay, crying was an understatement. The pink blob-creature-thing was almost spouting enough tears to fill a lake. It...wait....Was that a kwami?

 

“Chat Noir! I’m so glad you're here! Hurry!”  And if to confuse things more, the kwami(?) dove back through the trapdoor. Chat, confused _and_ worried, jumped in and landed on Marinette’s loft bed.

 

He stepped lightly onto the ladder and braced himself...

 

For anything but this.

 

 

Definitely not the girl laying on the floor in front of him, with the kwami trying stop the flow of the red that wasn’t supposed to be there.

 

Definitely not his one and only lady.

 

Definitely not Marinette.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! Done! 
> 
> Unless you guys want more...
> 
> *So, the title is from Robert Frost's poem 'Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening' which I think is a wonderful little poem, even if it has nothing to do with this whatsoever...


End file.
